If you like something or someone so much that his absence do not let you live, you just say "you like him", "you love him", but subconsciously you hate yourself, you do not like yourself. The world of love begins with the unconditional acceptance of yourself, not before. Any past idea from yourself´s look is always an illusion, because it no longer exists. You are innocent. Look at your circumstantial attachments with Patience, this Patience is God through you.